Keeping the christening candle after the day

A mum messaged me last month with a photo. Her son's christening candle, three years old, leaning against the back of a linen cupboard with the tulle squashed flat and the ribbon gone a bit grey. She wanted to know if it was ruined. It wasn't. But it took her half an hour with a hair dryer and a steamer to get it looking like a candle again, and I would rather you never had to do that.

So this is the post I send people now. What the candle is for once the service is over, and how to keep it without it turning into a sad thing in a cupboard.

Why you don't burn it down

The candle is lit at the baptism, usually carried by the godparent, and then it goes home with the family. In most families it is not burnt again as an ordinary candle. It stands for the light the child received that day, which is why people keep it rather than use it up.

That is the whole reason it comes decorated. Nobody puts tulle and pearls on a candle they plan to burn through in an evening.

If your parish does things differently, your priest will tell you. I only make the candle. I don't get a say in what happens to it after.

Lighting it again

Most of the families I make for light the candle once a year. Some do it on the christening anniversary, some on the child's name day, some on both. A few light it at Easter. There isn't a rule I know of, and I won't make one up.

When you light it, a few things I have learned the hard way.

Take it out of the box and stand it upright for a while first, especially if it has been lying down or the house is cold. Wax that has been on its side for a year can have a slight lean in it.

Move the tulle and ribbon well down from the flame before you strike a match. Tulle catches. It doesn't just melt, it goes up, and it goes up fast. If the decoration sits near the top of the candle, slide it down or fold it back and hold it with a hair tie until the candle is out again.

Light it for a short time. Long enough for the moment, not long enough to burn a well into the top. A big candle burnt for hours forms a deep pool, and once the pool is deeper than the wick you will have trouble lighting it next year.

Let it cool completely before the decoration goes back up. Warm wax marks tulle and it does not come out.

Trimming the wick

Before you light it each time, trim the wick short. A long wick from last year gives you a tall, smoky flame and black soot on the wax around it. Nail scissors do the job. Take it down to something short and even, clear off the loose bits, and then light it.

After it is out and cool, I trim again so it is ready for next time. That saves you doing it while someone is waiting with a lighter.

If the wick has been buried by melted wax, warm a butter knife in hot water, dry it, and scrape a little of the wax away from around the wick until you can see enough to light. Go slowly. You are not trying to reshape the candle, just find the wick.

Where it lives the rest of the year

Upright. That is the main thing. A candle stored lying down for a long time will bow, and once it has bowed there is no fixing it. If you have the box it came in, keep it in the box, standing up.

Out of the sun. A windowsill or a display shelf that gets afternoon light will fade the ribbon in a season and soften the wax. If you want it on show, pick a wall that does not get direct sun.

Away from heat. Not on top of the fridge, not near the heater, not in the laundry. Wax does not need to melt to lose its shape. It only needs to get warm enough to slump, and a summer afternoon in the wrong room is enough.

And please, not in the car boot. I mention this because it happens every year. The candle goes to the reception, comes home in the boot, and then sits there through a hot weekend. I have had photos of candles bent like bananas. Bring it inside the same night.

Wrap the decoration. Tulle crushes and pearls scratch against each other. I put a sheet of tissue paper loosely around the decorated part before the candle goes back in its box, not tight, just enough to keep it from being squashed by the lid.

When the tulle yellows

White tulle goes creamy over the years. Some of that is light, some of it is dust, some of it is just what tulle does. Cream tulle on an older candle looks fine to me, and it matches the wax as it ages too.

If it bothers you, you can slide the tulle off most of my candles without cutting anything. Wash it by hand in cool water with a small amount of gentle detergent, rinse well, and let it dry flat on a towel. Do not put it near heat. Do not put it in the dryer. Once it is dry, a light steam from a distance will bring the shape back, then slide it back on and reposition the ribbon.

If the tulle is torn or the ribbon has frayed, contact me with a photo. I can usually tell you what will help and whether it is worth redoing. Sometimes the honest answer is that it looks how a well-kept old candle should look, and I would leave it.

If you are still choosing a candle and want to see the colours before any of this matters, the christening candles are all on one page.