What to write on Orthodox wedding candles

Two weeks ago I had a pair of lambades ready to letter and two messages from the same couple in my inbox. One said Dimitri. The other said Dimitrios. Same groom. His mum had sent one message and his fiancée the other, and neither knew the other had written.

I did not start the lettering. I asked. It was Dimitrios, and the mum was a bit put out, and the candles went out the door right. That is the whole reason I confirm the wording before I put gold on wax, and it is why this post exists. Here is what goes on a wedding candle, how I take it down, and where it goes wrong.

Names or initials

Either. Most couples I make for choose full first names. Some choose initials, usually because the names are long or because they want the candle to look plainer. A few do first name on one side and initials on the other, which I don't recommend, because the candle is held with one side facing out and nobody sees the back.

If you can't decide, go with first names. I have had one set of initials sent back to be redone because the grandmother did not like them.

One name per candle

The bride's name on one candle, the groom's on the other. Not both names on both. The pair is two candles because there are two of you, and each one carries one name.

People ask for both names on each candle about once a month and I talk them out of it nearly every time. The lettering gets small, it wraps around the candle so you can only read half of it from the front, and it stops being a pair.

Which candle is left and which is right

I get asked this and I don't have an answer for you, because it is a family choice and not mine. In some families the bride stands to one side and the groom to the other and that is how the candles are handed over. In others it does not matter at all.

What I do is make the pair to match, so it does not matter which hand takes which. If you want the candles to be a mirror of each other, with the lettering placed so they read towards each other when held side by side, tell me and I will do it. Otherwise the lettering sits in the same place on both.

Dates

Some couples add the wedding date under the names. It works well in small gold numerals and it means the candle tells you what it was for when it comes out of the cupboard in ten years. If you add the date, put it on both candles, in the same format. Day, month, year, the way you would write it here in Australia, unless you tell me otherwise. One date is enough. Two looks crowded.

Cyrillic or Latin

I can do either, but ask me first, before you order, and send me the exact characters you want. I will send them back to you as I intend to write them so you can check every letter. Cyrillic has letters that look like Latin ones and are not, and it is not something I want to guess at with someone's name.

If the family reads Cyrillic and the couple reads Latin, pick one. Two alphabets on one candle does not work and I won't offer it.

The spelling problem

This is the one that causes the most trouble and the one people think about least.

Names in our communities have more than one spelling. Jelena and Yelena. Dimitri and Dimitrios and Dimitrije. Kostas and Konstantinos. Nikola and Nicholas. Often the same person is spelt one way on their passport, another way by their grandmother, and a third way on their Instagram. All of them are right. Only one of them goes on the candle.

So the rule is: the name is spelt the way the person whose name it is spells it. Not the way their mother spells it and not the way I would guess. If you are ordering for someone else, as a koumbaro or a kum usually is, get the spelling from the couple in writing, and send me that. A screenshot is fine. A voice message is not.

The confirm step

Every order goes like this:

1. You order and put the names in the notes, or send them to me through the contact page.
2. I send the wording back to you, laid out as it will appear on each candle. Bride's candle, groom's candle, any date.
3. You reply yes, or you send corrections.
4. I start the lettering.

I do not start until step three. If step three takes you a week, the candles are a week later. It is a bit annoying for both of us, but the alternative is a pair of candles with the wrong name that can't be undone, and I have seen enough of those to know which I prefer.

Timing

Order at least four to six weeks before the wedding. Two weeks of that is the confirm round trip and the lettering and drying time. The rest is Australia Post, which I don't control and won't make promises about. If your wedding is closer than that, ask before you order and I will tell you honestly whether it can be done.

The candles

The lambades I make are the neutral pair with gold lettering. Grey, silver, white and nude tones, an Orthodox cross, and your names in gold. They are $250 AUD for the pair and they are the only wedding candles I make, so there is no colour to choose, only the wording. The full page is here.

What I won't write

Quotes and verses. I have been asked for a line of scripture down the side and I don't do it. It reads badly at that size and I am not the person to be choosing a verse for your wedding. Your priest is.

Anything in an alphabet I can't check. If it is not Latin or Cyrillic, I will tell you no, and I would rather do that than get it wrong.

If you are ready, send me both names, spelt by the people who own them, and the date if you want one, through the contact page, and I will send the wording back for you to check.